New Year’s resolutions – taking a reality check

This was the blog I ought to have written a month ago. But lethargy and inertia beat me down. I would conjure up the energy to write and remove all distractions from my immediate vicinity. Like give kids their favourite toys, switch off notifications, keep my mobile in next room, finish returning calls (especially my mother’s), switch off the wifi, all done and checked. Then I sit with my laptop just the two of us, looking at each other earnestly. Who blinks first? This looks hard I say to myself, other mundane things all of sudden look important. Now all this looks like an utter waste of time. This is what happened the first day of the last month. I fine tuned the expectations from myself which meant essentially giving up with dignity. Truly, I felt some relief but I knew an impending sense of guilt is awaiting me.

So this is yet another attempt in the following month. I was fishing for ideas for this year’s resolution and I used to be a big fan of it. Until parenting, household and work made the possibility of it self evident. come to think of it each year we set these seemingly ostensible goals, which fall apart the very next day (at least for some of us). But we still look longingly at them and hope they become fulfilled one day. Our insistence on self improvement and our hope to see ourselves as better human beings is what inherently drives our species, isn’t it?

Honestly, I have been recycling these promises for the past few years. In 2015, I thought I should learn a new skill, so I picked swimming. I enrolled myself and went to the first class with my two kids, 5 and 1.5 yrs then, they cried, howled and created a scene. I never went to the second session. The following year I enrolled again and this time was in the month of July. I took three classes and the fourth one witnessed a heavy deluge to tank my motivation. This year I thought I should blog. So you think you can write?, reciepe for a new TV series, I say. I have always thought I could, though completely delusional of myself, but at least I gave it a try. So the idea is to blog each day of this month. I need to essentially push myself everyday till I have internalised the process after which I switch to auto pilot mode. Seems like a corporate strategy well explained. So lets try and hit the button…

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